3.12.19
Today in my sociology class we read an excerpt from a book known as 'Reviving Ophelia' written by Mary Pipher. I obtained some noteworthy information from reading, and now I shall share, because those who produce content must also consume!!!
Thanks to my girl MP, I feel like I am now able to identify the direct influence society has on adolescence, specifically girls.
Written in first person narrative, as a therapist nonetheless, Pipher accurately describes the "storm" of what is the female transition. She capitalizes on the domineering force that we know as society, and demonstrates how that power threatens us as a gender (notice I didn't say oppresses). The recipe of the two makes for an astonishing concept that is relatable, intriguing, and deserves to be shared. It brings attention to the profound intricacies of the most complicated species...the female. So puzzling actually, that even females themselves can't even figure it out! Let's jump in.
The excerpt begins by describing a young girl, given an alias of Polly, but metaphorically I believe it's supposed to be you, the reader. About the age of 9 or 10, sprightly and ambitious. At your age- I mean.. Polly's age, imagination is flourishing, there is a heightened desire to travel the globe, climb trees, and dream about becoming a comedian, or a zoologist, or a pro sports player! Boys hang with girls and girls hang with boys without any gender restraints. The world is peaceful. Ah, the purest form of childhood.
Then, middle school arrives. Everyone starts developing crushes for one another, so naturally, boys and girls discern themselves from one another. The girls begin "dressing to impress" and start applying makeup and shaving (I feel like it's universally agreed upon that it's just ankle to knees the first time you shave.. but maybe that is my Christian upbringings modesty revealing itself) .
The boys douse themselves in Axe, ensuring they radiate manly pheromones and make sure to say "no homo" after everything because ~masculinity is life~. But what about poor little Polly? Feeling torn between breaking away from this previous life of youthfulness and carefree days and this new, foreign, seemingly more mature atmosphere. 'Cause after all, Polly always wanted to "grow up".
Hellooooo high school! Hormones are very much observable by now. We fight with our parents all the time, but we don't really have a valid reason why. The guy that had always lived down the street becomes attractive seemingly overnight. The word "college" is repeated so many times, but we know it is just code for moving out. So we start retracting. We distance ourselves from our families, already anticipating the lack of a support system, and put our trust into interim friendships. The world outside of our bubble is telling us to grow up, to prepare for the "real world". Meanwhile.... boobs?!?!?
We enter the consumer market and we buy what they sell us. This doesn't necessarily mean tangible items, but we buy the culture. We finance their presentation, we idolize the models they present their merchandise on, all detrimental to discovering our own identity and coping with our own bodies.
Images are practically shoved down our throats on how to look. "My hips are a lot bigger than these Instagram models. Becky at school has smaller thighs than I do." We are now seen as objects to the public eye. We are told that if we look a certain way, men and society will notice us. And attention = goooood🤩
But wait! They don't care about my opinions and ideas? Nope, just your appearance. Wait, surely they will be impressed with my science skills? Nah fam. How about my artistic abilities? Lol you thought. But I have such amazing traits, you say longingly, visualizing your fourth grade self, eager to showcase your newest dance routine to your parents before dinner. Oh! Do you mean the traits you resigned to become part of society? Those, my friend, are tucked away, suppressed, in the darkest depths of the soul. You have been forced to choose between autonomy or conformity.
When we become consumers, sex objects, we lose our sense of self. When we learn that we are only judged on our appearance, our materials, and well, sex appeal, then our development of character and values take a backseat.
Specifically women, Pipher writes, take this time of judgment very seriously. Women have this incredible ability to sense doubt, shades of ambiguity in the slightest change of verbal inflection, and are able to identify hypocrisy with astounding acuity. No wonder we are outwardly emotional! We have the ability to interpret and empathetically express so many feelings! What a heavy burden to bear!
Allow me to explain the title of this post, and the book it has been inspired from. If you have ever read Hamlet, you know that Ophelia lusted over Hamlet. Soliloquizing day and night about her burning passion for him. Hamlet, in turn, felt the same way (atta girl O!). She ultimately lived for his approval and recognition but Hamlet later dismissed her as too obedient a daughter to her pops, Polonius (a verbose character, might I add). Ophelia goes mad and drowns in a river wearing a heavy dress. The heavy dress symbolizes the weight of societal pressures that women are expected to burden… or at least that’s what we discussed in AP English..
Of course this story was created in the 1600's but it really isn't so far fetched now, is it?
Is the influence to adhere to society's standards pushed on developing women? Yes. Should we blame everyone else? Absolutely not. Who in the h-e- double hockey sticks has the time, the power, to change centuries-long societal culture ?!
With an entire army of people it would take years to change these gender norms embedded in our little brains. However, our greatest power is intrinsically derived. It would be extremely ignorant to rely on anyone else except ourselves to preserve our identity in this ever changing society.
I believe it is safe to conclude that the abilities that young girls possess are too precious to vanish with age. The loss of talents and gifts, all to cater to the needs of a greedy society. A loss so great, that we will inevitably mourn for years to come.
Girls are just too powerful to be quieted.
Comments