3.8.19
"We haven't finished having fun yet." -Uncle Robbie
I needed to write about something gripping. This blog is new, yanno.
*cue Lil Uzi voice*: "It's only my third day out here."
I needed to catch your attention, but not scare you off. I feel as thought I have plenty of content to share... but we should probably get acquainted first, my beloved reader.
I think I may have discovered the most inviting subject of them all... the art of a beautiful friendship.
Friendship is about mutual benefit, reciprocity if you will. Give and take. It is common fact that an enormous portion of high school is finding your friends. And when you can't seem to identify wholly with any groups or cliques that surround you, that yields discomfort. How is one to assimilate in an environment where the group chats are already assembled, lunch groups are clearly delineated, the young lovers swapping spit?! What can be a solution to this quandary?! Let's visit our implausible possibility checklist, shall we?
Option #1. Get boyfriend to pour time into and lessen responsibility to expand friend network.
Sike.
Option #2? Assemble a group with a tinge of exclusivity to feel a bit more important. Mhmmm...cliquey. Not my cup of tea..
So if you're like me, you a roamer. You roam from group to group, befriending. Perhaps not investing, but certainly befriending.
For my fellow animal lovers, think of a capybara. Absolutely sick animals, might I add. That's me. I am the capybara.
But after a while, you start to notice that your friendships are becoming a little 'surface level' *cough cough*, the entirety of my junior year. Dark place. So you decide to stop "spreading yourself thin" (verbatim my mother), and invest your time and energy into a few homies.*
Enter: Claire Ostadi
Find someone that you can be audaciously yourself with. Someone who is just as loving as you are. Bonus points if you share the same kind of humor... at the rate I belly laugh with her, I don't think I'll ever have to do another sit up again. Claire reminded me to slow my roll and not check the time between every breath, a habit that robbed me of joy and left me with such a rushed feeling. But dang, contrarily, if you were to rig that girl up to an EKG, that screen would straight up read 'deceased' because I don't know any breathing person that operates slower than her. Ever seen Zootopia? Best comparison I can make is Flash. Yes, the sloth from the DMV. I suppose even if you haven't seen the motion picture you can depict the unhurried nature of the world's slowest animal. Okay, okay, I'll stop cutting on her for a second and skip to my point. From her I learned that the best way to live life is slowed. That slowing down, not scribbling every event course of action in my worn out planner, setting mass reminders on my phone to meet arbitrary deadlines. Because after all, acting on spontaneity and impulse, (not your agenda) embodies the entire high school culture... and produces the best memories.
I think she can support the idea that I encourage her to do a little more. Be a little more active, maybe encourage a little hustle where it’s warranted, get that fun pep in the step.
Of course these traits are embedded, but like every trait, they ought to be watered a little. She's on this new health kick! Brought her to her first hot yoga class that I think she enjoyed a lot...but that is her own little hoorah to rejoice and share.
What I mean is that we have a mutual gain from our friendship. In any relationship, if you put in more energy than you receive, you'll likely ditch the person. Rest assured you aren't selfish or conceited, in the simplest of scientific terms: mutualism is the basis of survival and overall well being.
Before I mentioned my not-so-glorious junior year. The journey of healing continues, but people who reassure you of your importance are VITAL. My good pal Alexis, a girl I only met this year, enforces the concept that the greatest friends aren't the ones you have known the longest. That cherub of a friend reminds me to be a kinder to myself- *vulnerability alert* because self-love isn't one of my strengths. In retaliation, I motivate her to be her best... ’cus she is the best. We joined the track team together this year and she is one speedy son of a gun!
It just took a lot of convincing and reminding of her- warning: I will sound like a parent here..dare I say it... "full potential." We benefit from each other... and exchange some funny faces amidst our "euphoric" runs together. I have yet to feel the runner's high. Thats a legitimate thing .....right..?
For my final example of friendship, I'd like to start off by asking you if you have ever had a friend that you don't see all the time, but when you do, it's like you were never apart. If you answered "yes", then you and I share a wonderful gift. Hopefully we all have a Kuzy in our lives. Kuz and I have shared years of youthfulness together, bonded by growing up and seeing each other mature and age. Treasurable background, eh? We played six years of competitive volleyball together, an irreplaceable adventure, and I loved every moment spent with her. If Kuzy were a country, she would be Switzerland. A neutral power... or a non-committal one (whichever way you choose to view it). She has never expressed an ounce of anger or frustration. Can you imagine? Incredible trait, I know!
But ever since I hung up the kneepads, it's been hard to lock her down to hang out. Communication isn't her strong suit (if you're reading this Wooz, I'm free Sunday), but when we finally link up, typically ingesting sushi, it's like we never were apart. Relationships like these are absolutely magical. I have a support system that doesn't require incessant nurturing. For that, I am grateful.
Friendship is an incredible concept. Two people, bonded by common interests, spending their precious time together (because, well, every second is precious). Having a face to pair with irreplaceable memories made in adolescence. To trust someone and be trusted. To love and be loved. To give and to take. That, my reader, is what reciprocity is all about.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss
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