7.28.19
Wow oh wow! I sure did miss you guys!!!
I know I have been a bit M.I.A lately. It is painful to be disconnected to such a devout audience such as you guys (all 2 of you, hi mom and dad). But let me tell you how absolutely grueling this summer has been for me. Ugh! First a flight to Chicago to see my friend Cosette after 2 years, then international travels to Spain and Andorra.. what a bore. Just got back from doing mission work in Puerto Rico *sigh*... It's been so hard to stay busy, lemme tell ya.
All jokes aside, I am immensely blessed to have seen what i have this summer. I got to crash in Spain for a bit with the best family ever, who spoke little to no english, might I add. My fashion game was on 10 there, confidence on a 100. Nude beaches ... one of my favorite European customs.
Puerto Rico has changed me in inexplicable ways. So much so that I (think) I am getting a piece of permanent ink on my body next week... but I dunno yet, I'm not good with big commitments like that. It took thirty minutes of gazing out the window this morning to decide if I wanted avocado toast or a smoothie for breakfast. And by the way, the answer is always avocado toast.
But this isn't a brag post. I am not going to flex my spanish proficiency for the next 500 words, aunque eso sería impresionante, no? Instead I wanted to share my observation upon returning home. It was a feeling that was foreign, but welcomed. I felt no real desire to rekindle with my old high school friends when I touched down in RDU airport. I wasn't running to make plans and I didn't race to text all the old ones. I was really just content with turning the last page.
Brynn! Stop! I am too enveloped in your intriguing blog to decode all these euphemisms! Alright, alright, cool your jets. What I mean to say is there was no more yearning to reconnect. I am now, more than ever, ready to go start a new pool of friends. I am outrageously thankful to have known the people I did. I made a lot of great memories with them. Where I'm going with this is to say that I am not too sad to be starting over… which is a good thought to clutch if you’re starting college in a month. Not every friend is eternal, you know.
If there is anything you take away from this post, let it be this: Once you learn that some friends do not last forever, you won't be as butt hurt when you drift away from someone.
The sooner you know this, the better off you'll be. Allow me to summarize.
Not everyone is your life is permanent. But they serve a good purpose. Even the ones you wish you hadn't met, you still learned from. But the better ones- you make memories with these people. You work through hardships with these people. And you belly laugh with these people, your abs clench from cackling. You learn a thing or two about yourself along the way.. but where a lot of people go wrong is they connect someone else with a piece of their identity, thus making the sudden distance seem much more personal. But your identity is yours, it is your triumph and your victory, and there is no use in accrediting YOU with someone else. Dually so, humans morph into one another. But let’s pretend I have a word count and can’t get into that right now.
A new chapter in your life can remind you to seize more moments. Be more spontaneous, be more daring. I know you're in a pocket pinch right now but your future self will thank you for spending gas money to take a little getaway with the buds. A new era is really just another opportunity for improvement... and heck with improvement, just straight up exploration. More time to see what is out there! See WHO is out there!
It feels LIBERATING to set sail for a new destination (was that an ECU pirate allusion..? could be.) You don't have to keep searching for motivation to reach out to an old friend and preserve the relationship. Things are constantly changing: get ahead of the curve and be adaptable. Pardon my bluntness but yes, this can also be applicable to your heartbreak from your three month bofo... things change, you're better off without him.
I'm not wiping my slate clean. I know a few that are staying with me for a looong time. Especially those girls I share Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights with. But it surely is exhilarating to design a new crowd. Like seriously! I'm pumped as heck! 29,000 people at my new school, there is no such thing as slim pickins.
I guess this new endeavor is comparable to making a new wardrobe. Let's compare it to that awkward bridge connecting 8th to 9th grade. Ladies, you know the angst after having to donate your bubble necklaces and chevron blouses. Gents, I'm sure it rattled you to the core when it was time to forgo the AND1 basketball shorts and the nike elite socks. But trust me, you did us all a favor.
But NOW, your destiny is entirely up to you. Design your own being. Are you going for more e-boy look with the Vans and Thrasher tee? Or instead will you begin treading the Emma Chamberlain x Pinterest board look alike path? (seems like a common and overdone route to me but hey go off) Whichever direction you choose to go, YOU get to design it, cus' it's whatever you like. IT'S THE SAME WITH FRIENDS. ISN'T THAT DOPE? If you find something cool, you get to buy it, love it, and wear it and make memories with it. If you try it on and it's just not your style, no worries, you can say thanks and keep looking. College is like a Super Target, one where they always have extras in the back.
I am thankful for my past, I am. Y'all hear me right? I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU. Our experiences help us become who we are. There is value in every relationship, even the ones that are short lived. I am thankful for every single soul I have encountered in these past few years and I am stoked for the new relationships to come.
Don't worry, readers. I'm not going far from you. In fact, I hope you guys stick around for sometime.
Music Festival in Barcelona
Comments