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Many things have changed in just the little bit that I have been in Granada. But thank God I have changed with them too. A month or two...

granada, spain I haven’t written in a long time. Maybe, oh just maybe, I can make some sense out of the clutter of emotions that drone around like gnats thwacking the sides of my brains. I can’t say I feel discontent. I certainly have every need of mine met and more. AND MORE! But I’m still lacking something. Answers to life's obscure mysteries, eternal satisfaction, self-actualization, a EU charging adapter. There are times I feel far from God, out of prayer, out of devotio

just a bit of chapter 1 A quick blurb into the life of "Pope". It costs 20 bucks to crush a dream.  20 euros I guess I should say. I’ve been mixing the words dollars, bucks and euros for nearly a year now. And though I often confuse them, whatever currency I land on, I don't have a lot of it. Regardless, it was exactly 20 clams to buy a roll of Ektar film for the beat up Olympus Trip 35 analogue camera I found at the kringloop* . Film that I didn’t really  need to have. But w

It all makes a lot more sense now, Crying at weddings.  It’s a newer sensation. I don't mind at all. Normally when my eyes burn and cheeks clench, I’m holding onto pain. When my nose sizzles and my inhales seize, I’m digesting hurt. But this time. this time it was so wonderfully different. To cry from joy is one of my favorite things to feel. I love most when it isn’t about me at all, when I am only a witness to something so marvelous. May these tears fall for others.  Always

I was deplorably cross with myself that summer, unable to decide on anything- from what I wanted to do with my life to what I oughta smear on my toast in the morning. My life had become a stand-still frame, utterly paralyzed by the inability to decide, and often interrupted by this manic urge to scratch my skin seven layers deep. I had claw marks from my attempts at relieving this debilitating full-body itch. Popped blood vessels left peppered trails of purple and red around

I’ve found that a kiss on the cheek is a really sweet way to say goodbye.  It was Isa who gave me one. It was like this full body warmth that enveloped me when she did it. It reminded me of being tucked into bed as a child, when the stick-on stars on the ceiling feel as vast as the milkway, and you lay beneath it all, just a mere fraction size of the blanket. It felt like being handed a mug of something sweet and warm after recovering indoors from a brutal chill, with clumps

I think what is such a drag to me is meeting good people and then having to leave. That's life, you say. Not everyone you meet is forever, you remind me. But wouldn’t it be so nice to have around an accumulation of everyone you have learned things from, everyone who has made you belly laugh, everyone who has offered you a fresher perspective than you were able to see yourself? Eva and I sat beside the dunes of Maspalomas in Las Canarias, a culture-packed little island just 93

May 16, 2024 My mom asked me the other day out of curiosity why I write, moreover why I publish what I write. And ironically for someone who seems to have a lot to say, I found myself too stumped to answer. I equate the question to kind of like asking a musician why they upload their songs somewhere rather than keep them in their saved files. Perhaps logically, that is the way they cast a line for fame, for recognition. But I couldn’t possibly believe that every musician I ad

Santander, Spain Written July 28, 2023 The thing is… I am a mere composition of things I have written, emotions I have felt, and people I have met. To collect them all and piece them together would be an impossible feat. But here I am anyways. Although I am whole, I am constantly changing. Thus it feels like I am sure of very little. These beautiful things and people appear and then swiftly vanish. At least they exist at all. The only thing I can be certain of is impermanence